this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
