Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
