is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
