I want to have your abortion
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
