Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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