Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize