I am spending my child support on dildos
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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