I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
