are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
