If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
His nipple licking is glorious
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