I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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