i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
