We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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