dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
