last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
