3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize