When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize