why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
