is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
