What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
