So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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