i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
