we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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