Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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