Umm I'm too high to move.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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