why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
