they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
