there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize