i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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