We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize