he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize