hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
