It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
