South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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