If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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