why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
