so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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