bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So squirting runs in the family.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
