We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
