i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So much rum. So many feels.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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