There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
