What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i now understand why vodka
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
jump out the window naked night went bad
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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