I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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