Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
