ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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