everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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