Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
