It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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