i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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