wat bout pragnant strippers??
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize