what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
God, I missed his penis.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
