Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
