Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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