After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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