God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
