Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
