you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
