It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
