so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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