it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
