I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just cropdusted the office
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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