she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
