You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
