hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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