I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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