I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
