Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
